Delegate More! Getting rid of monkeys

Collecting Monkeys

I was so taken by the value of her ideas that I made notations to myself opposite the most intriguing ones, such as "See Dan Jones about this," "Reallocate the budget on this," "Get the figures on this." Just on the way home on the bus, I picked up seven monkeys on the first page of this status report. But, as an amateur, I didn't perceive what had happened.  

The next day when I went to work, my face and bearing was aglow with pleasure at having received these unexpected jewels from Ms. A. She detected my pleasure, and, thus rewarded, sent me another report the next week. I didn't know there were going to be two! Not having finished reading the first one (much less pursuing any of its suggestions to meaningful conclusions), I clipped the second one under the first. I attached a note to myself . . . READ!

  Over the past year I've accumulated fifty of these reports; I would have fifty-two but, thankfully, she was sick two weeks. I stopped reading after the tenth installment, but I dutifully carry all fifty reports back and forth from home to work each day.  

How's it Coming?

I've become the unwilling victim of an unsolicited subscription to junk mail! Now, it's not the junk mail that bothers me. People send junk mail to my home frequently, but they don't chase me around asking, "Did you read it?" or "How's it coming?" as Ms. A does. She's so persistent in her efforts to see me about my reaction to her memoranda that I've grown increasingly evasive because I feel guilty about my lack of progress on all of them.  

All the while, she's been feeding a nickname for me into the rumour mill: "Dead-Letter-Office-­Stancombe." Then she'll often add: "Doesn't he ever read anything? You could tell him, in writing, that the building is burning down and he'd just give it the 'pocket veto'. At least he could give you the courtesy of a reply. He says he wants our ideas! Right now I've got half a dozen money-making projects on ice. I won't go ahead on them before he gives me the green light." Ms. A is another reminder of my ineptitude, a reminder that I would just like to keep out of sight for awhile. So I evade her, a prolific source of upward-leaping monkeys.

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